How to deal with difficult employees professionally

What “difficult” can look like at work

Before you act, be clear about what is actually happening. A difficult employee may be someone who regularly misses deadlines, speaks sharply to colleagues, ignores reasonable instructions, creates tension in meetings, or challenges decisions in a disruptive way. In other cases, the issue may be more subtle, such as withdrawn behaviour, passive resistance, or repeated complaints about everything.

It helps to separate personality from behaviour. You do not need everyone to be easy to manage, but you do need to address conduct that affects performance, respect, attendance, or the smooth running of the business. If the issue overlaps with absence, it may also be useful to read our guide on fair ways to manage employee absence in the UK.

Stay calm, separate facts from feelings, and avoid common mistakes

When someone is testing your patience, it is easy to react quickly. That usually makes things worse. Start by writing down the facts: what happened, when it happened, who was involved, and what the impact was. Stick to what you can evidence rather than assumptions about attitude or intent.

Common mistakes include having the conversation in front of others, using vague language like “you’re being difficult”, changing the message each time, or allowing frustration to shape your tone. Consistency matters. If the issue is ongoing, use the same standards and process every time so the employee understands that this is about behaviour, not personal conflict.

If the situation is part of a wider performance concern, a structured approach such as a UK performance improvement plan may help you turn a messy issue into a clear action plan.

Start with a private, respectful conversation

Where appropriate, begin with an informal one-to-one conversation. Keep it private, calm, and focused on resolution. The aim is to understand what is driving the behaviour and to make expectations clear before things escalate.

This first conversation should feel respectful, not confrontational. You are not trying to win an argument; you are trying to reset standards and give the employee a fair chance to improve. For growing businesses that need help handling these conversations well, Flora HR offers practical employee relations support that keeps things professional and proportionate.

• Describe the specific behaviour, not the person
• Explain the impact on the team, customers, or business
• Give the employee a chance to explain their side
• Agree what needs to change and by when
• Confirm what support or follow-up will happen

Focus on specific behaviours and impact

The best conversations are concrete. For example, instead of saying, “You have a bad attitude”, say, “You interrupted three colleagues in yesterday’s meeting and the discussion could not move forward.” Specific examples make the issue easier to understand and much easier to manage fairly.

You should also explain the impact. If someone is arriving late, missing deadlines, or challenging instructions in front of clients, say how that affects the business. Clear expectations are essential, especially in smaller teams where one person’s behaviour can quickly influence morale and service quality.

If you need broader support across policies, manager guidance, and day-to-day people processes, Flora HR can help through outsourced HR support that gives small businesses a steady hand without needing a full internal HR team.

Agree clear expectations and next steps

After the conversation, confirm exactly what good looks like. That might mean arriving on time, communicating updates earlier, following instructions, using a respectful tone, or meeting a specific performance standard. The more precise you are, the easier it is to review progress later.

Set a reasonable review point and explain what will happen next if there is no improvement. That does not mean threatening disciplinary action at every step, but it does mean being honest about the process. In many small businesses, problems persist because expectations were discussed informally but never properly followed up.

If you are unsure whether a concern should remain informal or move into a more formal process, Flora HR can provide HR consultancy to help you choose the right route for your business.

Document concerns and keep a consistent record

Good records protect both the business and the employee. Keep notes of what happened, when it was discussed, what was agreed, and what support or follow-up was offered. If the issue continues, you will have a clear timeline rather than relying on memory.

Documentation also helps you stay consistent if more than one manager is involved. Everyone should be using the same facts and the same standards. That is especially important in small businesses where informal communication can easily blur the line between a quick chat and a meaningful management record.

For formal action, it is worth making sure your process is sound. If you have not already, our guide to the disciplinary procedure for small businesses in the UK explains how to handle next steps in a structured way.

Know when informal support is enough, and when to escalate to formal HR action

Informal support is often enough when the issue is new, relatively minor, or likely to improve with clearer expectations and closer management. Formal action is more appropriate when the behaviour is repeated, serious, disruptive, or not improving despite previous conversations.

Escalation should be proportionate and based on the facts. That may mean formal performance management, a disciplinary process, or another route depending on the issue. If the employee raises a complaint at the same time, you may also need to follow your grievance procedure carefully, so it can be useful to understand the steps for handling a grievance properly.

When a situation feels sensitive, time-consuming, or legally risky, it is sensible to bring in expert support early. Flora HR helps SMEs handle employee relations issues professionally, so you can resolve problems without overreacting or leaving them to drift.